These are great!

I entered the "Three Minute Fiction" contest at NPR with "The Test" in my SHORT STORIES + section on the right...

I needed a joke for it and in my research I found these funny Honest Bumper Stickers

--All men are idiots, and I married their king.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.
-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
-- Keep honking. I'm reloading.