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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gumshoe

Aheila's drabble day prompt this week is "shoe" with bonus challenge to begin and end in the street. My word association produced this.


Gumshoe

I open my eyes to darkness.

Where am I?

I feel my head. Ouch! What a lump!

Think, Mason. What’s the last thing you remember?

The warehouse. To meet Melanie. Pick up evidence.

I got it all right.
 
So where am I? I get up and start walking. A sign. Highway 82, mile 43. IE, BFE.

Headlights approach. The car stops. It’s Melanie.

“Get in.” I do.

She eyes me. “Rocko followed me. I didn’t know until you arrived. I had to scram.”

I nod.

“Take the envelope. Jump out at this gas station.” Our eyes lock. “I’ll be in touch.”

She slows. I hit the road and roll.

Women.

BTW! M Pax's novel Semper Audacia came out today! Help celebrate!!

Come back here on Monday, October 31 to join in a spooky 100 word or so "Haunted Drabble" *insane laughter*
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13 comments:

  1. Emily R. KingOctober 4, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    The last line "women" was spot on. I pictured an eye roll and heard clear disgust in his voice. Good job!

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  2. mshatchOctober 4, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    liked this!

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  3. Alex J. CavanaughOctober 4, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Mason's having a rough day!

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  4. RyanOctober 4, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Nice tension and fast pacing! Great drabble Tara!

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  5. Angela BrownOctober 4, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    I loved it. That pic combined with the style and pacing of the drabble worked like a charm.

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  6. SouthpawOctober 4, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    Love the ending.

    PS: I changed my URL and username back to southpaw, but managed to mess up my feeds.

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  7. M PaxOctober 4, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Thanks for the shoutout, Madeleine.

    I loved your scene. Mason isn't having a very good day. Is he?

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  8. Abby FowersOctober 4, 2011 at 10:00 PM

    LOL. I love how it ends with "Women." haha. So perfect and very interesting. Great job.

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  9. Author A.O. PeartOctober 5, 2011 at 2:07 AM

    Great tension. The dialog moves action quickly. Love the last sentence!

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  10. DanaOctober 5, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Loved it! Great ending. :)

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  11. Tara TylerOctober 5, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Thanks, you guys!
    Mason is tough. This is nothing! If he isnt getting beat up, he doesnt feel alive. Yes, he is a troubled soul...I really get into my characters' heads!

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  12. Rhonda @Laugh QuotesOctober 8, 2011 at 7:29 AM

    gripping.

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  13. MISHOctober 8, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    Great atmosphere and pace !

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Thanks for stopping by!