THE PRINCESS PARADOX
Lighthearted Women's Fiction
90,000 words
Query:
Jaded by fairy tales, twenty-five-year-old Nora Roseberry has written off the probability that Prince Charming will come rescue her. Which is great. She's not interested in being saved. But fate is about to step in, offering this "damsel in distress" a shot at happy-ever-after.
When Nora takes her love life into her own hands by placing a want-ad in the local newspaper, she's shocked (but a teensy bit flattered) when roguish neighbor Aidan O'Neill comes-a-courtin'. Aidan's not the kind of prince who needs relationship help--evidenced by the sheer volume of maidens that cross his threshold. Besides, he doesn't go for women like her. He dates knockouts. Uncomfortable with his flirting and confused by her own foolish desire, Nora's almost relieved when Aidan reveals he answered the ad for his equally handsome brother Finn.
She quickly finds out Finn is everything fairy tales promised and more. Romantic, sincere, and ready to commit, he soon proposes--just when Aidan seems to have decided to change his ways and pursue Nora himself. Talk about crappy timing. Nora's the blissful princess being carried away by her handsome hero. With a wedding looming, a caustic-mother-to-be waiting to rip her to shreds, and a night with Aidan sprinkled with moonlight and magic, she needs to make a choice. And it will risk everything she's worked so hard to make fairy tale perfect.
First 150:
I wish I had the guts to tell my best friend I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a cocktail weenie than attend her wedding. Weddings, by nature, raise numerous questions if you’re single. People you don’t even know approach you as if it’s open season on any insensitive question they can muster. Aren't you involved? Did you just break up with someone? Are you a lesbian?
My answer to all of these is an emphatic "no." But explaining my feelings to Jillian, well, that just makes her more eager to hook me up with someone. Which is why I'm sitting here in dressing room I-lost-count, watching her zip up another beautiful Marchesa bridal gown, dreading this whole experience. I know exactly how today will end.
"Ohmigod, Nora. Look at me."
"You look…" I nodded, "breathtaking. Really."
"I do, don’t I?" she tittered.
"You do."
Love it. The page won me over. :)
ReplyDeleteFirst 150 is great! I already have a solid grip on the relationship with Jillian.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good, solid, three-act romantic comedy arc! The fairy-tale allusions give it an interesting flavor; best luck!
ReplyDeleteLoved the query and the opener! You seem to have really nailed the story and the characters. Great voice. Loved this line: "Aidan's not the kind of prince who needs relationship help--evidenced by the sheer volume of maidens that cross his threshold."
ReplyDeleteAnd the opening line of your first chapter made me laugh out loud. Kudos to you!
I'll be voting later so check back to see if you get another comment from me!
Like the others, I really liked your first 150! I remember liking your Q/First 150 from the Agent Pitch round. :) Best of luck! Thanks for commenting on my entry, too! :)
ReplyDeleteNot usually a huge romance fan personally, but your voice is very strong and humorous here.
ReplyDeleteAfter going through all the other entries, yours is my favorite! You definitely have my vote!
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back to this one...you have my vote! Sounds like a fun read. :D
ReplyDeleteAwwww. Thanks you all. :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot WAIT to see this in print! I am prepped to pay and hand over to every niece (and nephew) I have :)
ReplyDeleteI was waiting until I read all submissions before I cast any votes .....but this one literally made me laugh out loud. Great opening sentence, loved the query. You've got my vote!
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