Monday, November 24, 2014

Five Ways to Handle Disappointment and Come Out on TOP!

Hope all my US friends are getting ready to stuff themselves silly! Then get some exercise on Black Friday fighting the crowds - park far away and walk it all off!

Before I get to my topic today, I wanted to announce some awesome news! I am so excited and honored to be a part of Blogging for Writers by Robin Houghton. When she asked me to give her a blurb and let her use my blog, I was floored! And when I received it in the mail, I was thrilled! This is a result of perseverance that I never expected.


And this brings me to the topic for today...

From my last post, we are approaching life realistically and have lowered our expectations, right? Though this may sound a little defeatist, but the great part is, even when we are disappointed, good things can still come of it. Here are some hopeful thoughts on dealing with disappointment and turning it into something POSITIVE!

We only go through what we can handle - if it's happening to you, there is a way to deal with it. And if it seems overwhelming, we can't be too proud or afraid to ask for help. Everyone needs support sometimes. That's what friends and family are for - even bloggy friends!

We reach our goals when we are ready to handle them - we want to have success right now. Why am I being rejected so much? Why doesn't anyone want to hire me? Everyone around me is being published, when will it be my turn? These questions are more common than you might think, even from the successful people. We have to realize that some things are too big for us to handle without some development. Many times, if goals are achieved too quickly, there is a greater chance of failure - stress, additional work, and unexpected responsibilities can be overwhelming. But there is a better chance at success if we have patience and gain a little more experience and wisdom waiting for the right situation at the right time.

We usually receive rewards in unexpected ways - we can't plan for everything. I had a simple plan for my life after college - get a job, get married, have kids. These things have all happened, but definitely not in the way I expected! I was engaged and didn't get married. I worked several part time jobs for years before getting a steady teaching job. As I got older, I thought I would never get married and have kids. But I didn't get desperate or depressed, I kept going and was doing well on my own - and that's when my husband entered the picture, when I wasn't expecting it. Happens all the time!

We are stronger than we think we are - when I was engaged, I went out to a club with my friends. I thought, I'm glad I never have to do this to find a husband! And then it didn't work out. I did have to be single for a while. I don't like to promote myself or travel by myself - but I'm doing it and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Don't talk yourself out of things - you can do it!

We cannot let minor setbacks detour us from the ultimate goal - temporary failures are growing pains, stumbling blocks, challenges and dares. They poke and tease and bully us into thinking we aren't good enough. How we deal with these negative pieces of life and the choices we make as a result of them will determine if we succeed or not. The future is in our hands. It's okay to weep a little, then blow your nose, dig in your heels, and stick out your chin! We can do anything!

Have a great week! And safe travels to all!

PS!
Adding a shout out for a friend in NEED!

Charity Bradford is making the huge effort to self publish - it takes a lot of work and a lot of capital! She's down to the last three days of her kickstarter and needs to bump it up to 100% funding. To show you more about her awesome work:

Here's the book trailer

You can read the first two chapters


For more info, here's Charity's Website

Thanks for your support!!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Five Reasons to Lower Your Expectations

every friday

Happy Friday! Make sure you Celebrate the Small Things with Vikki and friends with her weekly hop! I don't always have a chance to participate every week, but I'm jumping in today! Here's what I'm celebrating:

  • I love November - my birthday month!
  • I made it through my first week in my new job
  • I had a great time visiting my grandma last weekend and hanging out with Elizabeth Seckman at another a nice little bookfair =)
  • I have gotten some chapters done on Cradle Rock, but as expected, I have slowed down with the start of my new job - hope to get more done this weekend!


And now, I'm very excited to bring new buzz to Broken Branch Falls!

Tonja Drecker at Kidbits is posting a review today (that's something to celebrate too!)


Finally, here are Five reasons to lower your expectations...
  1. Not everyone thinks the same way we do, others have different priorities - don't expect to come first, things that are important to you may not be to others
  2. When you accomplish something, people will be happy for you, but don't expect them to throw you a party because they're secretly jealous
  3. Things go wrong - expect the worst, hope for the best, and do what you can - you'll never be disappointed
  4. Don't expect the bad things in life won't to happen to you. Generalizations apply to everyone:
    • your spouse - we forget things, take each other for granted, and don't always communicate well
    • your kids - they go through the phases
    • your co-workers - they have their own lives and problems you have no idea about
    • and especially ourselves - getting old sucks
  5. We all have bad days - don't expect to save the world, it's okay if not everything you wanted to get done gets done today
Have a great weekend everyone!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Seven Deadly Sins with Character

Welcome to the November Insecure Writers Support Group! Hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh

As long as I blog, I won't miss out on this wonderful event. And today, instead of griping which I very well could do, I'm going to encourage and give out some advice (not that I'm a big authority or anything!)

To fresh, new writers with a story to tell: Write on! Get around those blocks, take short breaks to refresh, and get that story out.

To the editing blues crew: Carry on! Find a good crit partner and then some. Get out of your head and start a new project, then come back and remember what a great story you have that deserves to be polished up. The new project will also be your motivation to finish editing.

To the querulous queriers: Press on! Quick! You have five seconds to tell me what you're book is about, GO! There's your blurb, now expand and tease only a little to write the query. Remember the query is the future back cover of your book - hook an agent/editor/publisher now, hook readers later.

To the modest marketers: Event on! Get out there and sell - yourself. Who's going to promote you better than you? NO ONE. Unless you pay them. And we have no money yet. So bust a move!

Lather. Rinse. Repeat!

Easier said than done, I know. And believe me, it takes years, many, many, too many, rejections, heartaches and backaches and wrist-aches... But it's all worth it!

Now for a couple of BLOG HOPS! I'm so glad Michelle and Tyrean tagged me. I haven't done a hop in a while. Yay!

First Michelle tagged me in the Literary Seven Deadly Sins! (love this pic!)

Here are the questions:

Greed – What is your most inexpensive book?

Besides books I've won, I can't think of any cheap paper books... I do like sales. I've also gotten some free and 99 cent kindle books...

Wrath – Who’s the author with whom you have a love/hate relationship with?

John Grisham - love most of his insanely good story-telling, but don't like that he can publish whatever he wants (a few shouldn't have been...)

Gluttony – What book have you devoured over and over again with no shame?

It takes me a while to read a book through, so reading them a second time? Doesn't usually happen. When I was younger, I read several books in the Xanth series by Piers Anthony at least twice.

Sloth – Which book have you neglected reading due to laziness?

I have a stack... I will say Gone Girl and I've let Cinder sit for too long, half-read as well...

Pride – What books do you talk about most in order to sound like an intellectual reader?

My pride will not let me announce my deception... ha ha ha!

Lust – What attributes do you find attractive in a male or female character?

Strength, humor, conviction, honesty, faults they work around, depth

Envy – What book would you like to receive most as a gift?

A hard copy of Effigy - really digging MJ's book!

Now, I must tag others to admit their SEVEN DEADLY SINS...

Elizabeth Seckman, Vikki Biram, Christine Rains, Loni Townsend, Beth Ellyn Sumner, Heather Gardner, C. Lee McKenzie (I know that everybody is super-busy, so if you decide not to play along, then that’s fine)

And Tyrean asked if I would do a Meet the Character, so yay! Here are her books. And she introduced us to Clara - a teen swordstress destined for greatness.

Now it's my turn to let you all get to know one of my characters...

What is the name of your character? Is s/he fictional/historical?

Jeremy Monroe, totally fictional

When and where is the story set?

Modern day South Florida

What should we know about your character?

He's been dating his girl, Jess for three years and just found out he has a terminal brain tumor.

What is your character's goal?

To have a lot of fun and take care of his loved ones before he dies.

What is screwing up  your character's life (main conflict in writerly speak?)

Before he dies, he takes a strange potion his girl got from a Shaman Priestess, hoping to extend his life, but he dies anyway and turns into a zombie! That's when the real fun starts.

What is the title?

The Comeback. It's a short story in CQ: CHRONOLOGY, an anthology by a slew of awesome Curiosity Quills authors. Comes out November 24!!

And now I am tagging CD Coffelt - but it's open to anyone who'd like to participate!

CD's books are:
Wilder Mage
Mage Revealed