#WritersLife Survey 16 - Spring Cleaning

Ugh, no. not actual spring cleaning. But cleaning out my (imaginary) question jar for a Pot Pourri of Survey questions!

I will be discussing actual icky spring cleaning on the other blog I co-host with Elizabeth Seckman. We are the REALLY REAL HOUSEWIVES. I'll be complaining about housework and giving some advice on how to avoid spending too much time on it Monday!

Until then, enjoy this lovely smelling Survey! Results will go into my next IWSG post on April 4.

Lamest of the Lame

That's me.

I'd blame it on my feeble, old mind,
I'd blame it on my lazy behind,
I'd blame it on my lack of time
I'd blame it on my need to unwind

But I really have no good excuse
For letting down my housewife crew
I shouldn't have sat on my big caboose
I should've done better for all of you!

PLEASE STOP BY 

THE REALLY REAL HOUSEWIVES

with our special guest poster this week

C. LEE MCKENZIE!!!!

Now I have to check my emails and see what else I forgot this weekend... It's definitely Monday, people.

Unproductive

I hate not going in to work. That means I have to do chores around the house. I'd rather be writing! And in my procrastination of daily cleaning duties and grocery shopping I waste time blogging wisely promote myself by searching other sites, making comments and looking for contests (which I don't have time to enter)

I am a substitute teacher and it looks like everyone is well for a change. That's good! (I keep telling myself) I don't wish ill on anyone, but I yearn to work...

So with Spring on the horizon I must face the facts. It's time to set some goals for staying productive and getting everything done on those lazy, still in the pj's days that I won't be getting called.

Ah, life. Why must you get in the way!

APAYS

Ever heard of this contagious disease? I believe it's been around for centuries. It seems to affect men more than women. And it plagues the people most who don't have it as severely.

Now that I've perked your curiosity...APAYS
Averson to
Picking up
After
Yourself
Syndrome

I was too tired from putting things away to think of anything better. Know anyone who has it?

What is the next great invention?

What would you like to see invented? I believe I have every modern convenience that I could ever want and many that I don't. I feel blessed to live in this age and can't imagine life getting better. The area I would like help with is cleaning - I hate cleaning the house! And it's so futile! It feels like such a waste of time. Sure it's nice to have a clean house but it gets dirty again so quickly. And I have so many other things to do! Unfortunately the problem I see in our future is laziness taking over. People used to say "Necessity is the Mother of Invention" - well say, "Laziness is the Father of Invention!" You think obesity is a problem now? Wait until these beauties come out:

• 
• A combination washer/dryer - you don't have to move the laundry from one machine to the other. Either they are combined or take care of the switch for you.
• Speaking of laundry - how about an auto-folder, I can see it as a possibility for towels and sheets anyway.
• A waterless dish cleaner/sanitizer - after dinner, put your dishes in and bammo, they're clean! Like a microwave, in seconds. No water, no dish pan hands.
• A refrigerator calorie counter - the fridge scans what goes in and can tell you by weight what you have eaten and how many calories it was.

But the two greatest inventions I see a need for (besides a cure for cancer and alternatives to gasoline) are:

• a way to take care of all the garbage!!!
• a better way to get through airport security!

comparison - doctors and God

The Great Physician...

I don't believe doctors are like God - tho they may think they are.

I believe we treat them similarly:

• We should be visiting on a regular basis,
• But many only go when they are sick
• We want a quick fix for as little work as possible
• They tell us things we should do to stay healthy
• We usually do the things for a while, then go back to our old routine
• It's for your own good - goes in one ear and out the other
• Bad habits are hard to break and good ones harder to start
• Eventually our lack of effort will lead us to serisous complications...

I want to be healthier in mind, body and soul in 2011!

The Lazy Housewife - prologue

I've been writing this book for 3 years...I've been too lazy to try to get it published yet. I'm working on research from the public (interviewing friends, like you!) Here is the prologue.

Do you ever feel like Cinderella? This could be the story Cinderella was based on…

The dog yelps for his breakfast at 6am – no need for that alarm clock. Better get up before he wakes the little princes. Let dog out, feed him. He is so happy – wish I had that energy but have to trudge back upstairs for shower or not.

Sweetly nudge princes #1 and #2 who grumble. Have to raise voice and sometimes threaten. Finally get them moving and take breakfast orders. Back downstairs to mister wiggle-butt happy-pants (that's the dog, not the husband). Make breakfasts, get boys on bus. Wake prince #3 who is usually more pleasant. Once he gets on the bus, then the fun begins.

The kitchen is always a disaster after the whirlwind of breakfast and packing lunches. Clean, wipe, rinse, repeat. Run the dishwasher. Pay some bills. Plan day. Is it grocery day? Target? Book fair? Class party? Or just a clean house day? Don’t forget to purge the kids’ clothes and toys for the donation coming up. And then there’s the laundry. Balance the checkbook. Make a dr’s appointment. Make sure something gets vacuumed or scrubbed. Not to mention taking the dog out in between chores. And all of a sudden it’s 3pm.

Kids get home. Have snack. Tease each other. Time out. They play, you start dinner. They complain. After dinner they either do homework and complain some more or go to practice. Come home, finish homework, showers, bed. WHEW!

9ish Cinderella gets to watch her recorded tv show before crashing. “What? Not go to the ball? What did you say?” (in high pitched, mousy voice)

My dream come true is “House” and my pillow.

Get off your butt!

If necessity is the Mother of Invention, laziness is the Father.