Wednesday, September 4, 2019

How to Transition and Survive

Change is hard.

And life is full of changes, getting older, moving, job changes, relationship status, health issues, etc. And if you have to go through more than one at the same time, your stress level can go through the roof!

I'm in the midst of several changes, almost all of the above. I'm dealing with it in the best way I know how, but I know I've been snapping people's heads off when the stress gets to me. Then I feel horrible. I try to keep positive, but juggling all these new headaches is making me crazy.

The hardest part has been losing my writing life and missing out on book events. It's hard enough to be a writer, but when you have a good thing going and it falls apart, it's so hard to start over. It's easy to doubt and wonder if this is the part where I'm supposed to give up and move on...

So for IWSG this month, I'm looking for ways to deal with change. Here's what I came up with:

  • One thing at a time - It doesn't all have to be done at once. I have to ask myself: What can I handle today?
  • Ask for help - I'm so grateful for this community. I got so much help this summer. When you're down, you've got a friend!
  • Don't overdo it - I tend to work, work, work until I fall asleep. I feel overwhelmed and rushed, like I have to get everything done ASAP! But I know many of the things can wait, so I decided to shut down at a certain time every day. Then I can relax a little before going to bed.
  • Make time for family - they're the ones usually taking the brunt of my sharp tongue. I have to show them I can be nice and fun and still love them.
  • Organize the mess - I have several unfinished projects I want to get to, but they are low priority. Seeing them sitting there unfinished is a big stresser. So I write myself a list of the things I need to get to when I make some project time and put the projects away out of sight.
  • Go shopping - or sit outside with my dog and a glass of wine or watch a favorite show... just do something away from the stress. The stuff will still be there, but if I'm too irritated, I won't be able to concentrate and get things done anyway.
Setting aside time each weekend morning in August, I was able to type up, then edit down my submission for the IWSG Anthology Contest. I'll let you know if I make it... Probably keep it to myself if I don't. But I'm proud of myself for getting it done!

I'm just trying to get my life back into a groove, then I think things will start looking up, right?

Do you have any advice for an over-stressed workaholic? 
Hope September is falling into place!

24 comments:

R's Rue said...

Blessings.
www.rsrue.blogspot.com

lostinimaginaryworlds.blogspot.com said...

Some excellent advice. My life is in constant change, I look after a disabled husband, and so far I manage to stay cheerful, not inflict my own tiredness upon him, and long may it last 🌹

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's a lot to handle at once. But we can only do so much and what doesn't get done will be all right. Just ask yourself - will it matter in a hundred years? If not, move on.

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Try to be as gentle and kind with yourself as you can. Beating yourself up isn't going to help anything.

You already have a good attitude and lots of excellent tips in this post. You've got this. Hang in and hang on! :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I am the stressed-out workaholic, so I'm not much for giving advice on how to deal with it. Other than accept chaos as the balance right now.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tara - good luck ... but one step at a time usually works, no point in being overwhelmed and not doing anything ... so quietly as she goes ... all the best - cheers Hilary

cleemckenzie said...

Yep. One thing at a time is a good motto. Otherwise, you go bonkers. Congrats on submitting to the anthology.

Chrys Fey said...

One thing...one step at a time...is an important bit of advice to remember with anything we are struggling with. :)

Rachna Chhabria said...

Excellent advice. I too am taking it slow and easy from many weeks.

Patricia Josephine said...

Life likes to be annoying and dump a lot on your at once. I'm sending good vibes your way.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Wow. That is a bunch of changes. You know where to find me if you need me. Anytime. Hugs. Love you bunches!

Natalie Aguirre said...

I used to handle all my life changes, and there have been many, with staying busy with work. Now I find that I'm trying to work less and send more time with family and friends and relax. It helps. Hope you figure out what works for you.

Sarah Foster said...

One thing at a time is definitely great advice! I probably tell myself that every day, whether it's about writing or work or life in general.

H.R. Sinclair, Southpaw said...

You came up with a great plan of attack. That first on is gold: one thing at a time. I hope things get better soon.

Juneta key said...

I think you made a great plan. Treat yourself as kindly as you would others... You earned it. I hope all works itself out soon.

Diane Burton said...

I heard/read somewhere that the only thing constant in our universe is change. I am so sorry you're going through many changes at once. Stress has to be high! Take a few minutes to sit, drink some wine (or fav beverage) and relax will surely help. Taking things one thing at a time is good advice to yourself. Hugs.

Gwen Gardner said...

Hey Tara, I'm so sorry you're struggling. Life does have a way of throwing change ups and it's hard. Especially as you age and more things tend to pop up. Sounds like you have a healthy plan to deal with it. You got this!

Julie Flanders said...

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time but I'm so glad you didn't listen to the voice saying maybe it was time to give up! I admire how you have started again with such determination and I know you will make a great success of it. Hang in there my friend! :)

Heather R. Holden said...

Going through so many changes at once never fails to be overwhelming. Sorry to hear that's something you've had to face, lately! *hugs* Your list on how to tackle such struggles is great! (Trying not to overdo it is something I'm always having to remind myself, heh.) And how exciting about your anthology submission! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

S.A. Larsenッ said...

You are such an inspiration. (And you know I understand what you're going through.) 'Organize the mess' - yes. I have so many snippets of unfinished 'maybe' manuscripts, thoughts that could be manuscripts, and even visual images I've saved that just might end up in a story someday, on my laptop the poor thing barely works. I need to do this to refresh and clear away the clutter. Thank you for sharing all of this. <3

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grams ramblings said...

Like your list Tara. We all have to deal with change and those are good points to remember for surviving.
Stress is a killer!! I'm just in the process of taking stock so I can find more time to write. Something always gets in the way, usually family.
I get so distracted if somethings disturbs me mid flow. I end up leaving it till the next day and I might have only written a few hundred words.

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