Monday, November 24, 2014

Five Ways to Handle Disappointment and Come Out on TOP!

Hope all my US friends are getting ready to stuff themselves silly! Then get some exercise on Black Friday fighting the crowds - park far away and walk it all off!

Before I get to my topic today, I wanted to announce some awesome news! I am so excited and honored to be a part of Blogging for Writers by Robin Houghton. When she asked me to give her a blurb and let her use my blog, I was floored! And when I received it in the mail, I was thrilled! This is a result of perseverance that I never expected.


And this brings me to the topic for today...

From my last post, we are approaching life realistically and have lowered our expectations, right? Though this may sound a little defeatist, but the great part is, even when we are disappointed, good things can still come of it. Here are some hopeful thoughts on dealing with disappointment and turning it into something POSITIVE!

We only go through what we can handle - if it's happening to you, there is a way to deal with it. And if it seems overwhelming, we can't be too proud or afraid to ask for help. Everyone needs support sometimes. That's what friends and family are for - even bloggy friends!

We reach our goals when we are ready to handle them - we want to have success right now. Why am I being rejected so much? Why doesn't anyone want to hire me? Everyone around me is being published, when will it be my turn? These questions are more common than you might think, even from the successful people. We have to realize that some things are too big for us to handle without some development. Many times, if goals are achieved too quickly, there is a greater chance of failure - stress, additional work, and unexpected responsibilities can be overwhelming. But there is a better chance at success if we have patience and gain a little more experience and wisdom waiting for the right situation at the right time.

We usually receive rewards in unexpected ways - we can't plan for everything. I had a simple plan for my life after college - get a job, get married, have kids. These things have all happened, but definitely not in the way I expected! I was engaged and didn't get married. I worked several part time jobs for years before getting a steady teaching job. As I got older, I thought I would never get married and have kids. But I didn't get desperate or depressed, I kept going and was doing well on my own - and that's when my husband entered the picture, when I wasn't expecting it. Happens all the time!

We are stronger than we think we are - when I was engaged, I went out to a club with my friends. I thought, I'm glad I never have to do this to find a husband! And then it didn't work out. I did have to be single for a while. I don't like to promote myself or travel by myself - but I'm doing it and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Don't talk yourself out of things - you can do it!

We cannot let minor setbacks detour us from the ultimate goal - temporary failures are growing pains, stumbling blocks, challenges and dares. They poke and tease and bully us into thinking we aren't good enough. How we deal with these negative pieces of life and the choices we make as a result of them will determine if we succeed or not. The future is in our hands. It's okay to weep a little, then blow your nose, dig in your heels, and stick out your chin! We can do anything!

Have a great week! And safe travels to all!

PS!
Adding a shout out for a friend in NEED!

Charity Bradford is making the huge effort to self publish - it takes a lot of work and a lot of capital! She's down to the last three days of her kickstarter and needs to bump it up to 100% funding. To show you more about her awesome work:

Here's the book trailer

You can read the first two chapters


For more info, here's Charity's Website

Thanks for your support!!

21 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Tara, those are awesome!! God is only going to give us something when we are ready for it and yes, we can handle it if we are going through it.
Things definitely didn't happen the way I anticipated...
Have an awesome Thanksgiving!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

And congratulations on being featured in the book.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

As always, such a great list. You are always inspiring, Tara :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

We can't ever lose sight of the goal.

Sarah Foster said...

Wonderful advice! I think I let disappointment hold me back far too often.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Very cool about the book. I think it gets easier to believe that setbacks are temporary. You have some excellent ideas to live by.

Angela Brown said...

Congrats on being featured in the book. It's awesome!

And thank you for the words of encouragement. It's always good to have a reminder that some tihngs have their reason and season, and that patience is more than a virtue. It's a tool that can help us get to our goals when we're truly ready for them.

Julie Flanders said...

I'm definitely going to check out this book - congratulations on being included!
I especially like your point about not talking ourselves out of things - I have often been guilty of that and am trying to break that habit.

Happy Thanksgiving, Tara!

Carrie-Anne said...

Congratulations on your inclusion in the book!

It's a difficult but worthwhile lesson to learn that we're not all on the exact same path. Some of us get what we want earlier or later than expected, or in ways we never planned for.

Liz A. said...

Good advice. As for Black Friday, I say stay far, far away...

The Silver Fox said...

I generally don't go anywhere on Black Friday. Hate it.

Southpaw HR Sinclair said...

Oh that was a great pep talk. As for Black Friday, I avoid it like the Black Plague.

mshatch said...

That last one is a good one for me to remember.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tara - that's wonderful about Robin and her Blogging for Writers book - great news ... no wonder you're chuffed.

Persevere is so right isn't .. there's always forks in the road, minor deviations into dead ends .. but the light appears and we learn at each step.

Great news .. as you know Positive is fine with me! Cheers Hilary

Charity Bradford said...

Congrats on being mentioned in the book! This is all great advice too. I especially love the part about being realistic. Sometimes that means redefining success and acknowledging all that we have accomplished in our lives.

Thanks for the shout out too! *fingers crossed*

Tammy Theriault said...

I love the clubbing scenario. it's true the self doubt we have. love all your amazing tips. congrats on the big news, Tara!! love, Feisytude! lol

Medeia Sharif said...

Wonderful post. I think positive and I'm goal-driven. That's wonderful about being included in the book. Happy Thanksgiving.

Carol Kilgore said...

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

cleemckenzie said...

I'm particularly keen on the one about being stronger than we think we are. Great post, Tara.

Chrys Fey said...

Congratulations on being part of Blogging for Writers!

This is a brilliant post. I always believed that we don't go through any hardship that we can't handle.

I also want to let you know that I tagged you in the 777 challenge, if you haven't done it yet. It's completely voluntary, and you can do it at any time. :)

Beth Ellyn Summer said...

love this and DEFINITELY needed to read this right now! :)