Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gumshoe

Aheila's drabble day prompt this week is "shoe" with bonus challenge to begin and end in the street. My word association produced this.


Gumshoe

I open my eyes to darkness.

Where am I?

I feel my head. Ouch! What a lump!

Think, Mason. What’s the last thing you remember?

The warehouse. To meet Melanie. Pick up evidence.

I got it all right.
 
So where am I? I get up and start walking. A sign. Highway 82, mile 43. IE, BFE.

Headlights approach. The car stops. It’s Melanie.

“Get in.” I do.

She eyes me. “Rocko followed me. I didn’t know until you arrived. I had to scram.”

I nod.

“Take the envelope. Jump out at this gas station.” Our eyes lock. “I’ll be in touch.”

She slows. I hit the road and roll.

Women.

BTW! M Pax's novel Semper Audacia came out today! Help celebrate!!

Come back here on Monday, October 31 to join in a spooky 100 word or so "Haunted Drabble" *insane laughter*

13 comments:

E.R. King said...

The last line "women" was spot on. I pictured an eye roll and heard clear disgust in his voice. Good job!

mshatch said...

liked this!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Mason's having a rough day!

Ryan said...

Nice tension and fast pacing! Great drabble Tara!

Angela Brown said...

I loved it. That pic combined with the style and pacing of the drabble worked like a charm.

Southpaw said...

Love the ending.

PS: I changed my URL and username back to southpaw, but managed to mess up my feeds.

M Pax said...

Thanks for the shoutout, Madeleine.

I loved your scene. Mason isn't having a very good day. Is he?

Abby said...

LOL. I love how it ends with "Women." haha. So perfect and very interesting. Great job.

Angela Orlowski-Peart said...

Great tension. The dialog moves action quickly. Love the last sentence!

Dana said...

Loved it! Great ending. :)

Tara Tyler said...

Thanks, you guys!
Mason is tough. This is nothing! If he isnt getting beat up, he doesnt feel alive. Yes, he is a troubled soul...I really get into my characters' heads!

Rhonda @Laugh Quotes said...

gripping.

MISH said...

Great atmosphere and pace !