Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gumshoe

Aheila's drabble day prompt this week is "shoe" with bonus challenge to begin and end in the street. My word association produced this.


Gumshoe

I open my eyes to darkness.

Where am I?

I feel my head. Ouch! What a lump!

Think, Mason. What’s the last thing you remember?

The warehouse. To meet Melanie. Pick up evidence.

I got it all right.
 
So where am I? I get up and start walking. A sign. Highway 82, mile 43. IE, BFE.

Headlights approach. The car stops. It’s Melanie.

“Get in.” I do.

She eyes me. “Rocko followed me. I didn’t know until you arrived. I had to scram.”

I nod.

“Take the envelope. Jump out at this gas station.” Our eyes lock. “I’ll be in touch.”

She slows. I hit the road and roll.

Women.

BTW! M Pax's novel Semper Audacia came out today! Help celebrate!!

Come back here on Monday, October 31 to join in a spooky 100 word or so "Haunted Drabble" *insane laughter*

13 comments:

Emily R. King said...

The last line "women" was spot on. I pictured an eye roll and heard clear disgust in his voice. Good job!

mshatch said...

liked this!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Mason's having a rough day!

Ryan said...

Nice tension and fast pacing! Great drabble Tara!

Angela Brown said...

I loved it. That pic combined with the style and pacing of the drabble worked like a charm.

Southpaw said...

Love the ending.

PS: I changed my URL and username back to southpaw, but managed to mess up my feeds.

M Pax said...

Thanks for the shoutout, Madeleine.

I loved your scene. Mason isn't having a very good day. Is he?

Abby Fowers said...

LOL. I love how it ends with "Women." haha. So perfect and very interesting. Great job.

Author A.O. Peart said...

Great tension. The dialog moves action quickly. Love the last sentence!

Dana said...

Loved it! Great ending. :)

Tara Tyler said...

Thanks, you guys!
Mason is tough. This is nothing! If he isnt getting beat up, he doesnt feel alive. Yes, he is a troubled soul...I really get into my characters' heads!

Rhonda @Laugh Quotes said...

gripping.

MISH said...

Great atmosphere and pace !

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