How to manage your time - 5 easy steps! #MotivationMonday

Typical summer - There's so much I need/want to do, when I find spurts of free time, I get overwhelmed and end up squandering it, frittering it away with meaningless nonsense. I really need to have a go-to list for that precious time that slips away faster and faster these days. So here's what I'm gonna do...

1. Prioritize - I know what I need to do, but what needs done soonest? I also need a long list and a short list => How much time is each item going to take? I hate to get going on something only to leave it half done!
2. Get off the internet - we are addicted, admit it!! Admitting we have a problem is the beginning of the solution. Set a time limit, use the timer on your phone! SELF-DISCIPLINE! DO IT!
3. Just say NO - can you add another scrumptuous helping to your already overflowing plate of food you know you aren't going to finish? Stop it! It's okay to say no. But if you really need to say yes, SEE STEP ONE! Add it to the queue (love that word!)
4. Just do it - yes, I'm stealing some catch phrases, but they work and will help us remember. So stop hassling me about it and get back to your list!
5. Make sure relaxation is part of the plan - being productive can only happen if the mind is healthy and rested - a burned out brain is not a functional brain, hence the term brain dead. Don't let your brain die (and playing on your phone is not relaxation, it actually ADDS stress to your life - it's a fact, go look it up, UNPLUG!)

So that's my bit of advice for today. Now for the news...

THE THING THAT TURNED ME

comes out THIS Thursday, June 30! Yay!!

Prompted by the lovely producers of this conquest, Randi Lee and Imani Antoinette, I put together a youtube promo (btw, if any co-authors would like me to edit theirs similarly, let me know taratylertalks at the gmail email)

I'm also considering participation in these upcoming events:

The Write. Edit. Publish. challenge...

with your hostesses:

Denise Covey & Yolanda Renée

The Storytime Blog Hop - for stretching your writerly wings in speculative fiction!

NEXT HOP JULY 27, 2016.

This is the 3rd StoryTime Blog Hop of 2016

Juneta Key has more info on her website side-bar, feel free to contact her if you're interested

What are you trying to accomplish this summer?

Happy Monday, y'all!

How much is too much?

Here's my IWSG concern this month:
How often do you share good news about your books? And how often is too often?

I get so excited when I hit a milestone, but I always feel a little guilty sharing my news. It feels like bragging and self-promotion. Oh, no. Tara's talking about her books again... Then I think, my books are like my kids! I'm very proud of them and want to share my joy. Not to mention, writing is what I do with my free time - my life these days, after kids and family stuff.

And thus I share my insecurities with you all. Thanks to our mighty manager Alex C and his host of hosts! Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do about it?

On to the News:

• It's that time of year again! Many bloggers are participating in the A to Z challenge. And while I'm taking a break here, I'm joining our group effort at the Really Real Housewives! And it happens to be my week (C & D days). Stop by for some domestic advice and fun!

• My Quarterly Newsletter is out. I'm excited to be getting out to events again - yay for Spring!

And I was very excited to receive my small order of Jolissa novellas in PRINT! I'll be selling them at my events AND I'm giving one away along with 4 ebooks and a $10 gift card - sign up below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Will you look at that?

This month for the IWSG, I'm taking a break from worrying and doing a little celebrating! I hope the good vibes from this post will follow you around and holly jolly you out of any funk you might be stuck in!! Get some cheer, cheery, cheer over here!

First, the Insecure Writer's Support Group has published a collection of sage publishing advice! And I'm so excited to be a part of it! And it's FREE right now!

Tapping into the expertise of over a hundred talented authors from around the globe, The IWSG Guide to Publishing and Beyond contains something for every writer. Whether you are starting out and need tips on the craft of writing, looking for encouragement as an already established author, taking the plunge into self-publishing, or seeking innovative ways to market and promote your work, this guide is a useful tool. Compiled into three key areas of writing, publishing, and marketing, this valuable resource offers inspirational articles, helpful anecdotes, and excellent advice on dos and don'ts that we all wish we knew when we first started out on this writing journey.

Amazon, 

Barnes and Noble, 

Kobo, Smashwords, Goodreads.

Plus, I know some of you have been looking for a good critique partner - well, you're not alone. Check this out - it's another awesome something I've been wanting to share from the super supportive IWSG organization...

the IWSG Critique Circle.

Next...
I'm very excited to be close to handing over SIMULATION to my editor! And to give you all a taste of it, Chrys Fey tagged me in the 777 challenge - perfect timing!

In your current WIP, go to the 7th page, 7 lines down, and share 7 lines or so... Here I give you Colonel Crews Hamilton, the conniving, old villain from SIMULATION:

     Crews wanted an electrogun to zap the boy's head off.
     "Pull over."
     "But Crews…."
     "Pull. Over." The Colonel's glare, the original intimidator, beat Jonas' ten to one and took no arguments.
     "Are you sure? We're still downtown."
     The Colonel responded in a low, guttural voice, growling from his clenched teeth like a mean, junkyard dog. "I know where we are and I know where I'm going. Pull over the confounded car, right now."
     The fear that jumped into the young man's eyes comforted Crews. Jonas had crossed the wrong old man.

Thanks again, Chrys! And I will tag... Sarah Foster, Susan Gourley/Kelley, Angela Brown, Heather Gardner, Carrie Anne Brownian, Medeia Sharif, Vikki Biram

And lastly,

I took advantage of the lovely Elizabeth Arundel's offer to post about my newest release, BROKEN BRANCH FALLS, over at Unicorn Bell - another wonderful site for writing advice and encouragement and contests and more! If you've never stopped by, I suggest you do so!

Hope everyone is getting ready for the holidays! And staying warm!

My advice this month: Smile through it!

Building Character and Release News! I'm ecstatic!

For today's BROKEN BRANCH FALLS blog tour stop, I'm ecstatic to see Kim Van Sickler's review, and I'll be talking to her about character building at Swagger Writers. Kim and the gang are all about books, authors, reviews, and then some. Check them out!

Tomorrow (Thursday), I'm ecstatic for POP TRAVEL to be featured on ereader news today!

And Friday, I'm ecstatic to have Gabe do his first interview where he will discuss being a NERD with C. Lee McKenzie! Lee knows MG, YA, .... And her latest book comes out on Friday too!! Lookie! Seriously intense.

Hutchinson McQueen has a rough life and things get rougher when he is sent to juvie for a crime he had no part of - is there hope in such a place when nothing has worked out right before?

I know it's a lot, but I hope you can stop by for a peek. Thanks!

Now, I'm so ecstatic to share TWO more new releases!

My good friend, Elizabeth Seckman's release of beautiful BELLA'S POINT.

BUY IT HERE!

Bella's Point
A historical romance.
Bella has the spirit of Scarlet O'Hara and the heart of Melanie Wilkes. A former debutante surviving in the fallen South....

Isabella Troy Stanley is a divorced, slave freeing pariah surviving in the shattered post Civil War south the only way she knows how. She heads to a Yankee prison and buys herself a husband. 

Jack Byron is the former Troy plantation stable boy and object of young Bella’s affection. He rejected her then, and he’s still not sold on the idea of marrying her now. Sure, she’s pretty, but he remembers too well how even a glance in her direction got a man of his low standing ridden out of town. No, Jack’s more sensible now, not to mention he might still be betrothed to another woman.

It’s complicated.

My Bella's Point Blog Challenge entry:
The year was 1865....
Sweat dripped down her cheek. The lacy fan did no good against the fierce heat that seemed to claw its way up from the depths of hell itself. They'd lost so much in the war, Ermandine was on the verge of selling her body so her family could eat. The only reason she lingered on the sun-drenched porch, was to catch a glimpse of Marcus on his daily ride home from the mill. That stud might be the answer to her prayers.

Erma had no earthly idea why she bothered torturing herself, day after day. Marcus didn't know she was alive. Maybe today would be the day she walked closer to the road and dropped her handkerchief.

She stood, willing herself down the steps. Judging by the sun sinking into the magnolia trees, it had to be almost time. She listened for the steady beat of hooves that usually matched her quickening heart. But all was still. Then she heard a terrible screaming.

Worry gave her a shiver, despite the hundred degree temperature. She rushed to the gate and searched down the road. Her heart stopped as she saw Marcus. The man and his magnificent black horse had crashed with a farmer's hay cart.

Lifting her skirts, Erma ran down the dirt road, not caring about the mud splattering her one fine dress. She knelt down beside him and cradled his head.

The farmer, who stood unhurt, wrung his hat in his hands. "He wasn't watching. I tried to swerve."

Tears streamed down Erma's face. The young man whimpered from under the overturned cart. As he opened his eyes, the strong horse shook his head and rose to his feet, no damage done.

"Erma. Sweet, Erma. I don't think I'm going to make it. Take care of Marcus for me."

She smiled through her tears. "I will. There's always room in our stable for a fine stud."

And finally!
And another good friend, M.J. Fifield's elegant EFFIGY! It's here!

EFFIGY (Epic Fantasy)
Book One in the Coileáin Chronicles
by M.J. Fifield
Release date: July 22, 2014 (NOW!!)

Now available in paperback atAmazon, Amazon UK, andCreateSpace (E-book editions to follow soon!)

Young Queen Haleine Coileain must overthrow the reign of her evil husband, joining forces with the leader of the rebellion. To protect her people, she must lie, steal, and deceive, doing whatever it takes, compromising her beliefs, to lift their plight.

Her journey introduces her to an unbelievable world of monsters and an incredible love - both of which strip her soul bare, as she sacrifices all to save her kingdom.

For what life will exist if evil prevails?

If you all made it to the end of this long post, congratulations! And much thanks!

A summary of my tour stops:
Today - Character Building interview and review with Kim at Swagger!
Thursday - BBF featured on ereader news!
Friday - Gabe the goblin's nerdy interview with C. Lee McKenzie!

And here's your reward! Try this BEASTLY QUIZ to find out what kind of beast you are!

Postcard from camp - Happy Monday!

I'm chugging right along and feel good about my progress at camp. I know some of you are camping with me. I'd like to get an email going for support and updates, if you're interested! My cabinmates are pretty quiet so far...Let me know (taratylertalks >at< gmail >dot< com)

And here are the answers to the Tagline Haiku from Friday:

Party on dudes, (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

You never know where you'll end up. (My book, Pop Travel) 

Size does matter. (Godzilla)

Don't panic. (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) 

Free your mind. (Matrix Reloaded) 

One man saw it coming. (I, Robot)

Unleash the fury. (the Hulk)

So the show has been cancelled. But the adventure is just beginning. (Galaxy Quest)

The funny thing is these are mostly Sci Fi, and I didn't plan that...but they fit together so well and sci fi does have some great taglines! Yeah, Sci Fi!

A tag line can be a spark to catch reader interest - do you have one for yours?

Enjoy your week! Please come back Friday for a fun TT Talks interview with Christine Rains!

Mr. R

This is an entry for Chuck Wendig's flash fiction challenge this week...a modern day fairytale.

Mr. R

"I'm telling you, Gloria, Mr. R is a wonderful father, no matter what everyone says."

Leaving the dungeon rooms of the most despised resident at Castle Arms, the two maids rode the service elevator with their cart to the tenth floor.

"I don't know, Sheila. He doesn't seem like the home schooling type."

"It's better than being spoiled in the penthouse by that glam mother of his. She'd ship him off to boarding school."

Choosing adjoining rooms, they parked and began their cleaning routine.  

"True."  

"Course it is. He'd be a snobby little prince! Mr. R has a kind heart if you look past his unfortunate facial disfigurement."    

"He's a troll! Got something up his rear, too, if you asked me. I deliver things to him all the time and he never so much as says thank you."  

"You'd be grumpy too if everyone shuddered or steered clear of you when you walked down the street. And he used to be handsome."
 
"Never!"
 
"I know the truth. My dear uncle, God rest his soul, worked for Mr. R when he was younger. Had a nice textile business."
 
"Must have been a long time ago."
 
"Ten years. Mr. R was generous, smart, and kind. Could've had any girl he wanted. But he chose her." Sheila nodded upstairs as the girls picked up supplies from the cart.
 
"Everyone loves the Princess."
 
"Bah! They love her money! But she loved him. Until her father, the Kingpin found out."
 
"Oh, no!"
 
"Yes. Kingpin arranged for an accident. That's how come Mr. R looks like he does, poor soul."
 
"But didn't he steal her baby?"
 
As they pushed the cart to the next set of rooms, Sheila leaned in and whispered.
 
"It's his." Gloria stopped short.
 
"Never!"
 
"Truth. So Kingpin snagged the heir to the Tire Palace and setup a shotgun wedding because the Princess was carrying Mr. R's babe!"
 
Plastering on smiles for a passing family, the girls clammed up. When the hall was  clear, Gloria put her hands on her hips.
 
"I knew it!"
 
"When her husband found out the kid wasn't his, he made her choose. Dump the kid to be rich with him or keep it and lose everything."
 
Gloria covered her mouth and her eyes popped open.
 
"No!"
 
"The selfish wench called Mr. Rumplestiltskin the same hour and gave him the little cherub."

Happy Haunted Hallows Eve!

It's here! It's here! It's here!
I hope you got into the "spirit" of the holiday and wrote a Haunted Drabble! You can still think one up real quick, right? Post it on your blog and link to it or just write it in the comments. I planned on writing a spooky, haunted tale, but if you know me, you know I can’t do the expected. Here is my scary Halloween story… May it never happen to you!

“Please, Mommy?”

“Not today, honey. We need to get to the party.”

We weave through people and displays. Why is it always crowded when I’m in a hurry?

“Ok, sweetie. Which cupcakes should we get?”

I look down and Justin isn’t there. I whip around and don’t see him. My heart stops. “Justin?”

I start to panic. “Justin!” I call louder. I give a crooked smile to the condescending glance of an elderly lady. What did he want? Toys?

I keep looking, my pulse racing. “Justin!”

Then I see the tip of a ninja sword across the counter. I rush over and hug him.

“Here, mommy. I got you a free cookie!”

“You’re so thoughtful, sweetie.”

Tears well up with my relief. I take a deep breath. So what if we're late?

This kind of scene haunts me the most.
The treat(s) a surprise. Must see what everyone has to offer! And maybe I'll scare you with my costume later =) Be safe, everybody!

ps, Theresa is hosting a Halloween Haunt thru Nov 2 - lots of fun! go see!

Kick start Monday - Killer characters & a Halloween tale

E.R. King's Killer Characters Blogfest!

On this first day we are to name killer supporting characters. What I love in a killer supporting character is a comlpimentary disposition to the MC. A smooth camaraderie, witty banter, encouragement, someone to bounce ideas off of and knock sense into. Best friends who would sacrifice themselves for the other. My favorite two are Dr. Watson from Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Baloo from the Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling and I had a hard time choosing, figuratively anyway...

AND

I entered this drabble in 2 contests/challenges over the weekend =) First, Janet Reid had one of her flash fiction contests w/ 6 words to use in a 100 word halloween story & Chuck Wendig @ Terrible Minds limited his Friday Flash challenge to 100 words about bullies. I love combo prompts! Here's my entry.

“One more house, Jaelyn?” She's a witch and I'm a ghost this year.

“Sure.”

“Oh, no! Bryce and Dane!” I point at the zombies.

“I’m not giving up my candy!”

“Me either! This way!”

The bullies chase us through backyards. Their years of torturing us kids end tonight.

I lead us to the playground and we hide.

“Come on out. We just want to play.” They laugh.

I blow my special whistle with no sound.

Unforsaken creatures appear and surround the fake zombies. Their deadly eyes hypnotize. The smell of decay overpowers. They slay the boys before they can scream.


I won't use this for my Haunted Drabble next Monday, I went w/a different kind of scary for that...

Hawaiian Getaway

Campaign Time! Rachael's Third and final challenge - and it's a doozy! Details here, they are specific and crazy! It's 300 words minus title and opening =)

Hawaiian Getaway.

Some vacation.

My wife went to the spa and left me with our three whiners. At least they’re getting along, for now, and I can enjoy this tempting Kona brew that I’ve been craving since I woke up. I take my first sip of the bold, Hawaiian coffee. Ahh.

Maybe this isn’t so bad. Let Alexis relax and come back happy.

I should revel in this rarity of nothing to do. I recline in the cushioned chaise, my feet caressing the powdery sand. I close my eyes and let the cool sea breeze rustle through my shirt. The waves crash in steady rhythm and the sea gulls call,

“Daddy!”

Wait, that wasn’t sea gulls.

My eyes pop open. A shapely figure runs toward me. Am I dreaming?

I refocus and see she is carrying my seven year old.

I hop up and meet the nine year old ahead of them. “Daddy, Aiden got hit by a volleyball!” Alyssa shouts.

“I wan-tacise sorr-ai,” the young woman says in a strange accent. Aiden stares with glassy eyes at the wastopaneer of the girl as she sets him down. My 13 year old, Aaron, is transfixed with the same expression.

“It’s okay, Miss. He’ll be fine.”

“Bat I syn-batec,” she says and waves a friend over. I can’t understand a word.

“Your son was hurt?” the friend asks and checks Aiden’s eyes.

“He’s fine.” I say. Then a smell hits me. Something putrid, scrunching my nose. We all look around for it.

“Dad, what’s that smell?” It’s so bad Aaron’s attention is wrenched from the girl who has returned to the water. She walks up holding a huge fish covered in stinky seaweed and presents it to me.

“Who is this girl?”

“Dolphina. She was raised by dolphins.”

Alexis will never believe this.

I am confident I fulfilled all requirements. If you feel so inclined, you can send a vote my way (#19). This has been a great time! Thanks for reading!

I ma go krzy!

Here it is! The 2nd Campaign challenge. The title was part of it.

Write a post using these words: miasma, lacuna, oscitate, synchronisity; exact length 200. We have more time to finish and visit! Here is mine.
 

“Mom, I’m cold.”

“Isn’t the Fall air brisk? I love it!”

“Can we go inside?”

“You don’t want to watch the lacuna of the heavens with me?”

“There aren’t any stars out tonight. Anyway, my show’s coming on.”

“Exactly. You have a few more minutes. Look at the moon.”

“It’s full.”

“See the miasma around it?”

“You mean the foggy circle?”

“Yes. It portends rain tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

“And you might see your symmetric image in a puddle.”

“Uh, huh.”

“Please cover your mouth when you oscitate.”

“When I what?”

“Yawn.”

“Mom, have you been studying your word of the day calendar again?”

“Maybe.”

“Can I go in now?”

“I guess. I wish we had more synchronicity of minds. Someday.”

“Whatever.”

This challenge should have more of a variety of responses than last time. I’m curious to see how everyone goes with it! And if you enjoyed this little piece, you can vote for me at Rachael’s. Now I’m on to read, read, read!

Kick start Monday - Versatility!

A ton of people are participating in Alex's Worst Movies Ever Blogfest. The entries are funny, some surprising and mostly forgettable - I couldn't remember my most disliked movies, except "The Never Ending Movie Story" so I'm just reading the others.

Coming up later this week is another campaign challenge *cracks knuckles* - gotta do my brain exercises! like this flash fiction for Terrible Minds. Only 100 words this week using 3 of these 5 prompts: enzyme, ivy, blister, bishop, lollipop

Docta, I goth thith blithter on ny tongue. Can you help ne?

What have you eaten lately?

Lell, thith norning I hat eggth lith tabathco thauthe. Thor lunch I hat tacoth and thor dinner I hat hot wingth.

Do you eat spicy foods on a regular basis?

Yeth! I lothe it!

Then that shouldn’t be the cause of your blisters. Anything else?

Oh, yeah. I thorgot. I hat a lollipop athter dinner.

What flavor?

Thinnamon jalapeno.

That’s it! The enzymes in your mouth couldn’t handle the cinnamon. Stay away from it!

And finally, my new friends, K.T. and Rance both awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award (a while back, sorry it took so long to acknowledge)! Thanks, guys!

So, I will just whip out 7 useless facts about myself:

• When I was three I fell down the basement steps and got 2 black eyes and they crossed. Been wearing glasses ever since...
• I was always the shortest person in class - and I still am.
• I worked as an engineering assistant on the Space Shuttle engine (not the one that blew up)
• Piers Anthony was one of my favorite authors growing up
• In third grade I was a singing camel in my first musical =)
• I can crack my nose - I'd show you but, you know, this is just a blog...
• I have vitiligo (where my skin loses its color in patches, leaving it bleached) It sucks, but I deal with it because it's just appearance. So many others have way worse things to deal with.

And now I pass it on to some more new friends =)

Neil @ A Writer, He Muttered
Ru @ And then she was like bla, bla, bla
J @ Concrete Pieces of Soul
D.J. Kirby
David Powers King
Doralynn @ My Publishing Diary
Robin Weeks
Ruth @ Ruth + Writing
Christine T @ The Writer Coaster
Laura @ Wavy Lines
Mary @ Wistful Nebulae

the Change

Happy Friday!

I love it when I can roll two challenges into one. I overshot the word count, but I think it's worth it. (You can stop reading at 500 words if you want =) hee hee

The first challenge was from Doing the Write Thing - September prompt, give a Fairy Tale a new twist. I love a good twist! The second challenge came from Nina, Writing My Novel and Stuff. She's been going crazy giving out prompts on Google + (which I call Schmoogle) and her blog. They're great exercises. #22 was to tell what would happen if a magical creature (like a vampire) woke up normal. I thought it could fit very well with the other one. Here is what I came up with - during breaks on my first 2 sub jobs of the year - YEAH!

The Change

“Ow, my ears! That tiresome wench is singing again! Mirror, Mirror, what will I do with her?”

“Well, your Majesty, I’ll give you the bad news first. Snow White is getting prettier every day and will soon be fairer than you.”

“No! Say it’s not so! Are you cracked?”

“But wait, Majesty. The good news is, she could have an accident, she might fall down the well…”

“Oh, Mirror, you’re terrible! I love it! But I need the accident to happen far away from me so I’m not a suspect. Where’s Rudy, the Huntsman?”

“He’s out on a trip. He should be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow then. This will be the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks. I may not even need my sleeping potion!”

The next morning brought change.

Oh, I have an awful headache! The Queen grasped her head and rubbed her eyebrows. I will have to make a pain relieving elixir. But I can’t let this minor annoyance bother me, I have to take care of that brat!

She called to her advisor from her bed. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, where’s the Huntsman, fat and tall?”

Silence answered.

“Mirror!” she screeched. “I’m talking to you!” Still nothing. She slammed open the covers, stomped over to the mirror and came nose to nose with her reflection.

“Wrinkles!? AHHHH!” she screamed. She inspected herself further. “Gray hair?! Veiny hands? Sagging? Oh, no!” She began to sob. Then she became furious.

“What’s happened to me! What’s going on! I demand to know!” she shouted. She stormed down to her secret lab.

“What’s this!” she picked up a bottle and chugged it. “WATER!?” She spun around. “All my beautiful spells and ingredients have turned into water?!”

She shook her fist at the enormous fireplace. “How dare you take my powers from me!”

She yelled as she ran back up to her room, “Dressmaker!!”

The dressmaker appeared. “Yes, your Majesty?”

“I need a bustier! And makeup, lots of makeup! Do we have a royal hairdresser?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“Get one!”

Word spread that the Queen had lost her powers. There was much hidden rejoicing.

As the weeks went by and the Queen got used to her new way of life, Snow White had been neglected. Some handmaids invited her out one night and they had a raucous time at a pub.

“Bring me Snow White!”

“Now, your Majesty, she’s just a girl. My daughter went through a phase too,” said the dressmaker, who had become the Queen’s new advisor.

“I’ve got this, Glenda. Don’t worry.”

Snow White entered with braids and beads decorating her hair.

“Take those out at once!”

“No!”

“What?”

“I like them. All the girls have braids!”

“Snow White, what has gotten into you?”

“As if you care!”

“But I do! Haven’t you seen the new me?”

“Sure. You lost your evil powers and now you’re old. It doesn’t mean you care about me!”

“I’m still the Queen! You will show respect! Snow White, go to your room!”

“See? You don’t care!” she yelled and ran out of the castle.

“That went well,” said Glenda.

“She’ll be back. This being a mother stuff is new to me.”

But Snow White got lost in the woods. She found a little house and rested for the night.

Search parties were sent but couldn’t find her. Then rumors came back that she had shacked up with seven little men.

“I have to go get her,” the Queen decided. The change had softened her.

“Send someone to fetch her,” Glenda said.

“No. I must go. But I will disguise myself to discover her true feelings first.”

The Queen, dressed as an old hag, approached the cottage.

“Hello, dearie. I’ve been traveling a long way. Could I rest here a bit?”

“Sure.”

“Such a pretty girl. What are you doing in the middle of the forest?”

“I ran away.”

“That’s too bad. Did your folks mistreat ya? Beat ya? Starve ya?”

“No. They were nice, actually.”

“So why'd you run away?”

“I don’t know. I was afraid.”

“Of what, dearie?”

“My mother. She changed.”

“Turned mean and ugly?”

“No. Nice and normal. I guess I was confused. My world turned upside-down.”

“I see. Do you think her world twisted too? Do you think she misses you?”

“Yeah. I never thought of that. I guess I should go home.”

“Yes. Let’s!” The Queen threw off her disguise and hugged her daughter.

“Wow! Thanks, uh, Mom.”

They went home and lived happily ever after, until Snow White started dating.

(see that didn't seem like 750 words, ha ha!)

The Waiting Room

The new challenge is here! The new challenge is here! (guess the movie)

Welcome Campaigners! and other treasured guests! Today is the first challenge for the campaign. Our lovely hostess, Rachael Harrie, has given us a fun prompt. We write a 200 word flash fiction starting with "The door swung open." An extra challenge is to close with "the door swung shut." And even better to keep it at exactly 200 words, not including the title. Done, done, and done! Relate and enjoy =)
And if you like, you can vote for me at the linky link.

The Waiting Room

The door swung open and the nurse called another name not mine. My shoulders sag as I pretend to read a dated People magazine.

I don’t know why I come early. No matter what time I arrive, I always wait at least fifteen minutes. Why do I torture myself coming here anyway? There’s nothing wrong with me.

I glance around at the other waiters. None of us wants to be here. We all dread sitting on a paper covered exam table, wrapped in paper, exposed, waiting some more to let an almost complete stranger poke our most private possessions. We are a sick society.

I’d check my emails, but we are supposed to turn off our cell phones. What is the point? No one pays attention to that rule. Just once I’d like to see what happens if everyone got on their cell phones at the same time. Will the power go out? Will the medical monitors scramble and receive alien transmissions?

After twenty minutes and several other lucky victims have gone, a nurse announces my name. I plaster on my “it’s about time” smile and follow her to the scale. My verdict awaits. Behind me, the door swung shut.

Southern Gothic Cyberpunk!

The notorious Mr. Wendig at Terrible Minds has a lovely Friday Flash Challenge this week. I took a break from the last two, but I love the mashup! So here is my Southern Gothic/Cyberpunk story. I could go on and on with this one!

The Hatfields VS the McCoys: 2993

Akin Hatfield took aim at the green image. With his high-falootin, sci-fi goggles set on heat seekin, that animal didn’t stand a chance.

Snap! What the ? Some idiot stepped on a twig!

And there went the enemy, scamperin off to make his scout report. Akin’s moron ammo tech would scare off fish in a barrel.

Zap! The figure disintegrated. Hot damn!

“Fine shootin, Bo. Saved us a chase,” Akin said in his com link. “As for Piss, here, I might hafta shoot his loud a** myself.”

“Sorry, boss.” Laughter echoed in their headsets. Piss earned his name for pissin his pants when they caught him lyin. Helluvan ammo tech, makin bombs outta all kinds of s#%@, even s#%@! But his usefulness might be comin to an end.

After an early lead takin the first flag in the Tobacc Mountain region in only five days, Akin had gained himself a huge followin. Though it had cost him three men, scores had volunteered to join his campaign team. He took only ten to keep his convoy small enough to hide from that skunk, Rosco McCoy.

One of Akin’s scouts had informed that as soon as McCoy found out they had won the first region, he paid off the village idiot leader to give him his flag and now his team was close on Akin’s heels.

Accordin to the Election War map, Akin's next flag was here in Peachnut Plains. The clue said “rust in peace,” so they figured it’d be in a cemetery. The marker sat on Stone Mountain, the only remainin landmark and split in half at that. Two years ago The Battle of the South ended in victory, but if those aliens came back any time soon, humans’d be toast. The South may be a Wilderness Zone, but no one was gonna take it from em once Akin Hatfield was in charge.

(source)

Akin’s campaign team spread across the Stone Mountain cemetery to cover more ground. Even before the Invasion, most graveyards were grown over with grass and weeds and trees, nobody buried the dead anymore, just cremations. The men crept through the tall grass barely seein the headstones which were no more than rocks to trip over, and some bones and skulls that had risen to the surface with the ground shiftin and tree roots growin and such. It was like wadin through a deathswamp.

Ahead, through the trees, Akin could just make out the two horse heads carved into the half of Stone Mountain that still stood, with his goggles now on infrared. Before he turned back to focus on the brush in front of him, he heard a commotion. At the base of the mountain he saw bursts of lasergun fire and flares. McCoy’s team must have found their flag. D*&% that McCoy!

“Party’s over, boys. Getta move on that flag!”

They picked up the pace and Akin saw somethin swish by up ahead near the remains of a broken iron fence. It had been fuzzy, not solid. He figured it was just a cloud of bugs.

A thud made him turn. Piss was down. Akin and Bo rushed over. Bo shook the ammo tech, but Piss’s eyes were wide and glazed, starin up at the moon. His face froze from fright.

Akin smacked him. Still nothin. He weren’t dead but they couldn’t afford to drag him along so they shrugged and went on.

Then the screamin started. Three more men fell with no sign of damage. Just that same stupid spooked look on their surprised faces.

“Evrybody gather here to me pronto!” Akin ordered.

“We lost Ells, too,” Charley told him as they huddled around their leader.

“This ain’t McCoy’s doin. I ain’t sayin what I think it is, but take what you can from the fallen and keep your goggles on. We are stickin together til we get outta here.”

When they reorganized, they headed for the iron fencin.

“I see it,” whispered Bo.

“The flag?” Akin asked. “Where?”

“By that thing over there,” he said and pointed with a shaky finger. He sounded like he was gonna cry. Akin saw the flag and the hazy, floatin thing, which was not a cloud of bugs.

“Pull it together, boy!” Akin said and swatted him in the head. “Use the retriever.”

Charley took the large cannon like device off his shoulder and aimed at the flag. Once they figured it out, it had been a valuable asset, a gift left by the retreatin aliens. He steadied and fired.

The spook turned around and flew right at them. The face became a hideous fury, half skin, half teeth and half drippy goo. Just before it reached them, the boomerangin retriever lasernet exploded through it with the flag, scatterin the poor apparition’s goo all over them.

Two more men had gone down at the shockin sight of it, but Akin’s team had the flag. Only one more to go and the Hatfields would win the Governorship of the Wilderness Zone. Yeehaw!

Hourglass

Shelly said Blog is an ugly word. I agree with her. But hourglass, now there's a pretty word. This week Aheila's Drabble Day prompt is hourglass.


As Vanessa watched the last grain of sand slip through the hourglass, she found a burst of strength to break through the rope she'd been scraping on the iron back of her chair.

When the door squeaked open, she hurried over to hide behind it.

"Vanessa?"

With her doubled fist, she konked her kidnapper unconscious.

Vanessa ran down the hall, white dress trailing.

When she reached the double doors, she thought, Freedom! and burst through.

Only to find the handsome prince waiting at the altar.

"NOooo!" she wailed as her father escorted her kicking and screaming down the aisle.

Jack Saves the Day

I have combined Terrible Minds' Friday Flash and Brainstorms & Bylines' Weekend Challenge to give you a Twisted Flea Market Fairy Tale. This was so fun! I might actually have a chance to win this week.

Jack Saves the Day

I don’t understand my grandparents’ fascination with flea markets. They smell like a mildewed attic in a condemned house, even though it’s outside. The rows of useless junk on card tables are manned by disturbing, repulsive beings who sit in worn out lawn chairs. They chat and haggle over the noise of clanking wind chimes made from shells or broken bottle “sea glass." It’s amazing what people will try to sell.

The shoppers are just as bad. They’re either tourist treasure hunters or desperate losers. Or dragged here by insane loved ones. I am forced here against my will for our monthly visit. My grandparents come so often, they know some of the vendors by name. That in itself makes my skin crawl.

The sun beats down as I trail behind them. I should not be awake at ten on a Saturday morning. When they stop to greet Minnie the “rare” doll seller, I walk on by like I’m not with them.

I scuff down the aisles and avoid eye contact. I glance at the tables. Necklaces made from bottle caps, wooden toys, “art” sculpted from beer cans, knives, old posters, hats with sayings like, “Even your poker face is ugly.” An endless supply of crap. And it’s all dusty. I wonder if these people live here and sleep under their tables. Pathetic.

I stop at a table with some old baseball cards which have the possibility to be worth something. I look through them even though I’m sure I won't find anything valuable. The guy behind the table looks like he’s napping under his faded Cubs hat. Another transplanted snowbird.

As I search, I feel the intense stare of the vendor next door. I look over and he has this hungry, almost drooling, look on his face. He is all jolly and smiling and fat. His hair is tufted white with a beard to match. He’s got on a checkered golf beret, a short sleeved shirt, and suspenders. A classic old fart. It’s scary how much he reminds me of Santa on summer break.

I give him a sneer and go back to the cards, hoping he will quit.

“Is your name Jack?”

I get chills down my back when he says my name, but I don’t acknowledge that he spoke.

“It is, isn’t it? I know Thelma and Joe. Your grandparents, right?”

Now I have to respond. My grandparents would guilt me to death if I was rude to their “friend.”

“Sure,” I say, but I still don’t turn to him.

“Well, Jack. I have something for you.”

I roll my eyes and make myself look at his wares. I’m disgusted by the used odds and ends from broken mirrors to a muddy boot. It looks like he went through someone’s trash. His sign proclaims “Magical Antiques.” I almost laugh out loud when I see the plunger. I am about to walk away as he rifles through a box behind him, but he catches me.

“Here you go. Your grandparents picked it out for you.” He holds up a weathered bean bag cow.

“That’s ok.”

“Jack. Have you been a good boy?”

I stifle the urge to run screaming. “What?”

“Be a good boy and take it. It was made just for you.”

“By who? Your elves?”

His eyes accept my sarcasm and his jovial smile lowers to a satisfied grin. “It’s magic.” He tosses it at me and I catch it by reflex.

“Jaa-aack!” My grandmother calls. I jerk around to see her waving at me. It’s finally time to go. I turn back to leave the cow on the table but the whole setup is now a skinny black dude selling sunglasses and visors.

“Want a pair?” he asks me.

“No thanks,” I say and jog to leave this crazy island of misfits.

When I get home I throw the cow to my dog. He loves it and takes it to the back yard and buries it. Perfect. Now I won’t have to think about it anymore. After dinner I go to bed and try to erase the entire experience.

The next morning I wake up to sirens. Out front police have taped off our house and a crowd has formed. My mom rushes into my room.

“Jack, we don’t have to sell the house!”

“Wha? What’s going on?”

“Get dressed, honey! And come out back! Our problems are solved!”

I throw on some clothes and rush outside. I can’t believe my eyes. I see the thickest trunk of interwoven vines and it reaches up forever, into the clouds.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Yes, honey! It’s a beanstalk! A wonderful, unbelievable beanstalk!”

“How is this profitable?”

“Oh, silly! I can charge people to come see it!”

Ok. My mother is as crazy as her parents. And that’s when we hear it.

“FEE FI FO FUM! WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER? WHERE’S MY RUM!” The bellowing causes the earth to shake and knocks us all off our feet.

Down the stalk climbs a giant girl. She lets go and lands on my house. Splat!

“Oops. Sorry about that,” she says. Then she looks around and spots me. “Hi! I’m Darla. What’s your name?” she asks with a wink. Why me?

“DARLA! YOU BETTER NOT BE DOWN THERE! WHERE’S MY WEED KILLER!?”

“You come with me.”

“You want to take my son?” my mom asks.

“My dad is going to douse that beanstalk with poison. If you want me to leave you alone, take this payment for the boy.” She puts down a flask that’s taller than me. “It’s magic rum. Each sip grants a wish.”

“Deal.”

“MOM!” Darla scoops me up and puts me in a pocket.

“You’ll be fine!” my mom yells. Then she considers and asks, “You aren’t going to eat him are you?”

From halfway up Darla answers, “Not today!”

As she reaches the top, she giggles and whispers to me, “I have a thing for bad boys!”