My annoying characteristic this month is my inability to say the right thing or just keep my mouth shut. That's why blogging is so good for me. I can read over what I type and proof read and edit before anyone reads it. You can't do that in person. My mind moves fast, my mouth can't keep up and judgment is bypassed to get my point across, usually interrupting someone and not sounding as good as I thought.
The art of conversation is necessary for going to conferences, pitching, meeting agents and editors, and being in a critique group or book club. I need to refine my art and listen more. Any suggestions? I'm all ears! Thanks!
Baseball has been full of highs and lows - I've been to most of the lows and am starting to wonder if I'm the jinx here! Inspired me to write this...
Universal Truth:
Parents relive childhood through
kids, knowing more now
It means more to us
Victories and losses are
A matter of pride
but I must end on a light note!
Remote of power
Controlling the universe
Choosing a channel
37 comments:
I read somewhere that most people are busy trying to figure out what they're going to say next instead of actually listening to what the other person is saying and then responding. I'm working on this myself.
(Although, I tend to just keep my mouth shut most of the time anyway. I've gotten tired of people looking at me funny.) :)
i think learning to listen is the best gift we can give ourselves and others.
Being a talker is also valuable. It will help you start conversations at conferences where you need to network. However, once you've gotten the ball rolling, learning to pull back and take in what others have to say is where you will make a lasting connection. Practice with family and friends.
Yes -- what Madeline said. Speaking effectively is 90% listening and 10% mouth-flapping.
Loved your haikus, too -- excellent work!
Great haikus - I have to admit I loved the last one best - it made me smile big!
As for the talking vs. listening thing . . .well, I wish I had good advice. Either I feel like I don't know what to say, or I want to jump up and down and interrupt. Listening is a really good skill . . .I think it takes lots of practice.
You made me wish I had children! Also, the 'remote' haiku was delightful....
Enjoyed the haiku, and I think we could all do with an editor in the mouth at times :-)
Thank you for stopping by to say hi yesterday, Tara. I love your blog and am your newest follower,
Kathy M.
I definitely share your "annoying characteristic" at the moment! It happens a lot when I'm tired lol!
Yeah, I too have the talking too much and interrupting. What I have found that helps is this:
I try to imagine that instead of talking to the people in front of me, I pretend they are my grandmother. She and I have exceptionally different political ideas, so if I don't carefully evaluate every word from her mouth, it could become a political free-for-all instead of christmas dinner.
When I listen to other people as carefully as I scrutinize my grandmother's words, I'm able to respond more intelligently and directly.
Hope that helps.
My only suggestion would be to hang out with people who get you, that way you'll never offend anyone. :)
You always write the best haikus too.
Love the remote haiku!
Remote haiku is very 21st century ~ thanks, ^_^
I have been a 'listener' all my life and do wish people on the whole would really listen to each other ~ I need to 'talk a tad more' ~ LOL ~ enjoy the week ~ ^_^
I too share that annoying characteristic. I keep my mouth shut for a good long while and then I just can't do it anymore. Disaster usually follows.
Love the haiku.
This is why I totally love online communication. Even though I hardly ever filter my blog posts, um... I'm a lot worse in person.
Madeline said it best!
Love your haikus and I posted my first IWSG post. The remote haiku seemed a little dark to me. I'm not sure why. Never change Tara!
I'm exactly like you. That's why usually I'm very quiet around people. My mind is going a mile a minute, but I clamp down on my tongue so I don't say silly things at the wrong time. And I have done it before, much to my embarrassment.
I used to be the same, until I got a job where listening is important. It's a case of practising - the more you converse, the easier it is.
Just about all of us do that. It's great that you want to improve in different areas. That's the sign of a very wise person.
I have the same problem. Maybe I need to get a job with Annalisa. Or, just clamp down more on my tongue like Christine, and hope I don't bite it off. Of course, that would solve my speaking problems :/
I'm terrible at talking to people in person. I'm better off just listening before I screw something up.
Sorry I can't be more help.
Heather
Even though I'm naturally pretty shy, when I'm nervous I babble constantly! I'm terrified if I ever go to a conference I won't stop talking either! :)
Nice Haiku!!!
I tend to talk before I think sometimes... I'm working on it though :)
The last one is aha! Love it.
nice! My favorite is the first haiku.
No suggestions, it all happens to me, too. Well, I've got one. Don't give up. I'm told things improve with practice.
Love the haiku!
I'm so with you on this. My problem is I freeze up when talking in person and end up totally stumbling over my words or coming off like a complete moron. Writing is much easier!
I know what you mean. This past week there have definitely been occasions I could have just killed my tongue.
It's funny. Everyone thinks writers are eloquent speakers, conversationalists, and essayists, but we all screw up at times.
Lots of good advice. Practice I guess. Especially if you know people who are good at it. Observe, then try to mimic. My husband and several of my friends are very good at it. So, I pay attention when they speak now. One key is to listen. Another seems to ask questions of the other people ... so you seem interested.
I much prefer typing my answer than speaking. I get so tongue-tied on the phone and in person because I'm not sure what to say, and my mind often just draws a blank.
I'm glad I'm not the only one with that problem. And when you find the answer to beating it, please, let me know, will ya? God knows I need to!
LOL ... enjoyed your set!! Thanks for sharing.
Universal Charm
We share so many things..nice haiku..
Nice to hear so many understand this problem and can relate. Thanks for the support!
Madeline - how true it is!
Michelle - that's great advice!
Isis - excellent suggestion!
Rena - the problem is, most people are not as interesting as your grandmother! but i get it =)
Mina - that's why i blog!
Sheena - you came up with a book idea of an evil guy controlling the universe with a remote, didn't you!
JoLynne - yes, practice! i just have to remember at the time!
Mary - sometimes the people who are good at it, people want to listen to, like my hub!
And thanks for the sweets on the haiku =)
Oh mighty remote of power!
It's a cruel irony that writers have to step away from our comfortable spot behind the computer screen and into real life in order to get our written word read. I write soooo much better than I speak -- it's WHY I write! So, no sage advice to offer, but I'm here for ya in a 'misery loves company' kinda way. ;)
Better late than never (from IWSG).
Oh no, you mean I not only have to write my blurb but I have to speak it? Eeep!
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