Monday, October 1, 2012

GUTGAA SPP #16 - The Prodigal Hunter

The Prodigal Hunter
Adult Literary Fiction
65,000

Query:
It’s not Andy Glazer’s fault that he hasn’t spoken to his brother in years. Simon, after all, was just a punk, hardly scraping by with his tattoo needles and turntables. Now that Dad is dead, though, it feels like it was Andy’s fault he fell out with Simon. Simon wasn’t there for Dad’s last rites, didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, so Andy has one shot to redeem himself – chasing down his estranged brother before Dad’s funeral. Not a soul in their old social circle, in the nightclubs or dive bars of Denver, seems to know what’s become of Simon. There are rumors, of course. As the funeral approaches, Andy has to worry whether there’s more to fear than a reunion of a dysfunctional family or more to grieve than just his father.


Alternately narrated by Andy and Simon, THE PRODIGAL HUNTER explores how denial, left unchecked for years, can easily become delusion, and how delusion can become the only way to find what the soul most desires.


First 150 Words:
I plant my shoulder into the wall outside Intensive Care and listen to the code called on the intercom again. It confirms my fear. A small army of scrubs wedge themselves into Dad’s room, crowding his bed so I can’t even see him. The nurse on the intercom calls Dad’s doctor, the surgeon who put his hands on Dad’s heart this morning and fixed it, supposedly. Isn’t it fixed?


Everything after surgery went so well. Just minutes ago, I sat feet up on a waiting room couch, telling my sister that Dad made it through, that he was awake, fighting the breathing tube to get comfortable in the ICU bed. I asked Rhea about her kids. I don’t give a shit about her kids. I give a shit about Dad.
And that’s when I heard the first call on the intercom, when I heard our name, Glazer, announced among the chorus of ominous codes.

3 comments:

Slave to the Muse said...

I found your query to be very strong and I liked your opening chapter. Great work! I'll be voting later so check back to see if I leave another comment. Good luck!

Ellie Heller said...

This is just lovely (the writing, not the subject). One thing I might add to the first 150 if you have room is someone having said something which give him hope. Having been in situations like this little things like hearing 'his pulse is normal' or 'he's where we expected him to be' from a nurse - which isn't really telling you anything, right? they're just pacifying statements - but they give you hope which you cling to with both hands until told otherwise. I just wanted an inkling someone 'in authority' gave him enough hope he'd call his sister and he wasn't making the judgement call on his father's status all by himself. Make sense?

J

Rose Cardinal said...

A strong, emotionally driven opening. Well done. The query could use a bit of tightening. If it is told from both POV's, they need to have equal time in the query. You made my short list.