Monday, October 1, 2012

GUTGAA SPP #7 - Here Today

HERE TODAY
Commercial romantic comedy
84,000 words

Query:
Nate Cather, a world-famous actor, is stalking his own biggest fan. In the public eye since age 15, Nate doesn’t have many normal friends, but he does have Mary K Dallof, a fan who has written him every week for ten years. Nate looks forward to hearing from Mary K more than anyone can ever know. After all, people pay to watch movies starring dashing-and-refreshingly-scandal-free Nate Cather, not the real one.
But when Mary K’s wedding announcement arrives, Nate realizes his one chance at true love is slipping away. Ignoring the protests of his brother/manager Tom, Nate sets off to break up Mary K’s engagement, hopefully without destroying his career in the process. Unfortunately, wooing Mary K requires avoiding her suspicious older sister and maintaining a healthy dislike for her infuriatingly nice fiancĂ©. And he thought shaving his head to disguise himself was tough.


When Tom reports that the tabloids are on his trail, Nate has to decide whether he’s going to risk his career for Mary K--who, as it turns out, isn’t as easy to talk to in real life as she was in his head. Mary K, on the other hand, must pick between true love and a life-long fantasy.

First 150 words:
One of the many, many nice things about being both rich and good-looking is I’m not going to be convicted of a crime anytime soon. Take stalking.  It’s technically a crime and I suppose I could be accused of dabbling in quote-unquote stalking.

See, I’m Nathan Cather.  Yeah.  The Nathan Cather—the one who probably has a couple stalkers of his own?  You’ve probably seen my movies, watched my TV shows, read my interviews.  Some of you might have even visited my website.

This isn’t arrogance—it’s fact.  Sometimes I meet people who pretend they’re too smart to know who I am, too mature to pay attention to who I broke up with last or how much money I make.  “Nathan Cather, huh?  What do you do for a living?”  They, my friends, are full of it.  Everybody knows Nathan Cather—anyone who says otherwise is lying.  I’ve been in two TV series and twenty-three movies, dozens of magazine covers, and hostedSNL three times.

4 comments:

Slave to the Muse said...

Unique premise and voice. The query could do with a little tightening. Good work! I'll be voting later so check back!

Manchee said...

Ooh, nice premise and fun, snappy writing! You have my vote. :D

Anonymous said...

Thank you!

Juliana L. Brandt said...

I agree. You can probably tighten this up a bit. Honestly though, there isn't anything glaringly wrong with it that I can suggest. Feel free to email it to me and I can help you tweak it a bit.

My biggest suggestion though- cut the last line. Switching to Mary's POV is a bit disorienting.