THE KNOCK-OFFS
Mainstream Fiction
86,000
Query:
When music talent scout Chandra Galliard gets assigned to a reality show described as “American Idol but they sing children's music,” she thinks her only worry will be keeping a straight face when adults dress like Skittles and sing about bunny rabbits. But the VP in charge wants to turn the winning band into a billion-dollar entertainment juggernaut, even if it means making shady side deals and firing anyone who gets in her way.
Chandra soon finds herself managing the band that wins the contest, which includes a bassist who can’t dance, a drummer who may be a sex addict, and the handsome lead singer, who has a gift for creating havoc with his ad-libbed songs. On the band's first tour she uses skills she never knew she had, like blackmailing celebrities and doling out black eyes for photo ops. But when the VP pushes too hard and the band fights back, Chandra must decide whether to sacrifice the band to save her career—or to try and make the VP face the music.
First 150 Words:
Chandra stood waiting for the concert, trying to ignore all the red flags. First, every alt-weekly in Los Angeles wanted to have the band’s children, a sure sign they were over-hyped. Second, the club was full of drunken kids from Greek Row. The Pabst drinkers of music, she thought. Third, when the lead singer shambled on stage, he looked doped on cough syrup.
Still, there was hope. Maybe the band could only express their genius through music. Maybe their music would transport her to a better place, one that didn’t smell like the crowd (too much melon body spray, not enough deodorant). This was why she scouted bands, to find the few rough-cut gems. But as the band’s first notes thundered through the room, her hope succumbed to an assault of power chords, a noise so punishing her cell phone went off like a car alarm in her pants.
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4 comments:
Funny! Solid query and a good opening. Love this line: "But as the band’s first notes thundered through the room, her hope succumbed to an assault of power chords, a noise so punishing her cell phone went off like a car alarm in her pants."
I'll be voting later so check back! :)
I have no interest in reading about the manager of a children's band, but your voice was so funny and the writing so strong that I can't let this one slip by. I love when someone can win me over to a subject I might otherwise overlook. You have my vote!
This is compelling. I kept coming back to it. The premise is unique, and the writing is edgy and funny. You have my vote!
The opening surprised me with how much it grabbed my attention and pulled me in. The query had a great voice that was reflected in the opening, a balance that is hard to achieve. Well done. You made my short list.
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