Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Eta (for h)

Before I get started, I want to highlight Heather's blog - taken over by her gnarly gnome, Stormy! You must stop by and hear about his bucket list! Hilarious!

From the messy countertop of the Lazy Housewife...

The Hub. Spouse, soulmate, companion, helpmeet. I love my husband. Underneath the tough, gross, complaining exterior is the real man and the reason I want to stick with him. The best way to make a marriage last is to not try to change him.

I have lots of TIPS from many places on the subject of Keeping Happiness in Marriage. Here are just a few:
  • Strengths - Let each other shine at what you like to do. Mine likes Sports and to Coach - go team! and Grill - yum!
  • Reconnect - A regular date night is important. Make it fit into that busy schedule!
  • 7 Commandments of Fair Fighting:
    1. Thou shalt not lose control. Check your volume and use time outs if nec. (works for adults too!)
    2. Thou shalt not bring up the past. Deal with the issue at hand.
    3. Thou shalt give positive strokes first.
    4. Thou shalt fix the problem, and not blame.
    5. Thou shalt not mind read. Let them talk and really listen, then digest before responding. (This is my biggest problem.)
    6. Thou shalt not label. No name calling!
    7. Thou shalt not hit below the belt. Don't say things just to hurt.
  • "Be angry, and sin not; Let not the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26)
  • A few love nuggets
    • be able to admit you can be wrong
    • leave love notes unexpectedly
    • don't correct your spouse in front of others
    • praise more, criticize less
  • "How We Met" stories from friends (I met mine looking for a roommate in the paper!)
    • Through a friend at Applebees
    • He was my neighbor. (and this story is more complicated and sweet!)
    • He was my boss when I worked as a waitress.
    • We met on spring break in Cancun
    • My roommate in college introduced us when he came over to study.
    • Sitting next to a HS friend I was chatting with on a bus ride, he hunted me down afterwards
    • Blind date =)
    • Have to send you to read Cassie Mae's hub story from E day - swoon worthy! no wonder she writes YA romance! (she is also hilarious!)
Do you have any stories or tips? Please share!

Editing Tips

Ctrl H - opens "Find/Replace" dialog box.
he said - plain dialogue tags are fine. Action dialog tags spice things up, using a sentence of action without a saidism. Just be careful not to put someone else's action with the speaker.

commonly confused "H" words:
hangar (a building for storing aircraft) / hanger (a device for hanging garments)
hanged (used for people) / hung (used for inanimate objects)
hoard (a hidden cache) / horde (a large crowd or swarm)

Find more A to Z posts here.


Cassie Mae said...

When I first read number seven, I thought it said Thou shalt not hit things below the belt, then I thought you'd go into how precious that material is and you don't want to damage it! LOL. Oh boy.

And um... I like that button you made with my name on it. Can I have it??? *makes puppy dog face*

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

My husband and I met in college when we were both trying to get out of taking the required math class. :)

Heather M. Gardner said...

I met my husband at the yearly fire department fireworks show in his home town. He was such a jerk to me in the beginning and he's still a pain in the butt. :)

Great post and really good points.

Thank you so much for the mention about Stormy! You know he LOVES the attention.


Brinda said...

In the past, I had problems with #2 on the "Thou Shalt Not" list. lol I'm better now. I've been married almost 27 years, so I can barely remember those old things to bring up. :0

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Hello, blog hopping and found your's here. Good post, loved it !


Elizabeth Seckman said...

Wonderful post. Makes me think of Jessie Andersen's fb status update, "If you want to be treated like a queen, you should treat him like he's the king."

Unknown said...

So good. I have a friend who is currently moving out after 14 years of marriage. I was surprised by how much their problems sort of sat on my mind. It was like, "wow, it really does happen." Then I went and squeezed my guy.

Jennie Bennett said...

Great Marriage tips! I could use a date night :)

M.J. Fifield said...

Heather's blog is hilarious.

And I met my significant other via a chat room on the internet. We don't fight often, but when it do, it's usually about how to properly load the dishwasher.

Margo Kelly said...

Oh my gosh! I feel so much smarter! I didn't know the difference between hanged and hung! Thanks. :)

Jackie said...

Your tips are wonderful keys to a healthy and loving marriage. Thanks for sharing, Tara. :)

Mark Means said...

Tara, yours has been one of my favorite blogs on this hop. I'm loving your tips and you come up with something new and helpful each day.

Keep it up! :)

Left and Write

Dana said...

My husband and I met in a chat room. :)

Great tips!

Hannah said...

A very useful post it's my 1st wedding anniversary in august so we'll see how this goes down shall we!

Sheena-kay Graham said...

I'm not married but I think these are great tips. Cassie is hilarious and I'm so happy about her book deals. Looking out for your upcoming book as well Tara.

Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said...

A very useful post!

M Pax said...

My husband and I met in a bar. Although, he did know my friend. They had a friend in common. He stared at me the whole time.

VikLit said...

Definitely agree on dialogue tags, simple is best!

Christine Rains said...

Great H post! We've never fought before because I'm really big on talking about every single little thing openly and bluntly. I met my hubby on the internet when it was still creepy. We weren't in a relationship until we actually met and then sparks flew!

AJ Lauer said...

Aww now you've made me all nostalgic. Our first date was moonlit kayaking off the coast of Fort Lauderdale. Talk about romantic! :)

Happy second week!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I like your seven commandments.
Heather's posts with Stormy are just awesome. I'm glad she did that theme again.

Carol Kilgore said...

So guilty of mindreading here, too.

Unknown said...

loved it! and i took no 7 literally! why not? :) ;)

gail said...

Great advice, Grasshopper!

Jak said...

I've never been married, but I agree with a lot of the points you make. Especially the ones about not changing one another (though promoting self-growth/improvement is positive) and having that date night.

It is even harder to do, but all the more important, when having children.

Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

Jeremy [Retro] said...

i am afraid to respond...

Tara Tyler said...

hold on!
have a great rest of the week!
hears to you all and your heartfelt comments!

Bevimus said...

My husband is what I consider a typical man in that he is rarely ruled by passions. What I mean by that is that when he gets angry, he doesn't want to talk about it. It took me a long time to learn that in order for him the process I had to leave him the hell alone, then when he'd gotten his head around it he'd come and talk to me, usually in an amazingly respectful way, about why he shut down. So my biggest lesson: give him space. The resolution will come a whole lot quicker that way.

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