Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Summer #shortstory - The Day Dave Broke the Internet - 2


Dave didn't know he was lonely until his friends pointed it out. But when he gives in and tries an online dating site, something catastrophic happens - talk about a bad omen.

The Day Dave Broke the Internet
by Tara Tyler

2

RECAP 1: Instead of a light bulb, a thunder cloud flashed over Dave's head as he realized they wanted him to enter the horrific scene of online dating.

He shook his head. "No, thanks."

"But you didn't hear our suggestion."

"I don't have to. No."

"Aw, come on, man. What have you got to lose?"

"My dignity, my money, my sanity."

Nathan leaned back. "Okay, dude. But when we start having kids and you're still all alone, our lives will change and you'll be left behind, the same, lonely guy. Crazy old Uncle Dave."

"Sounds good."

Sunni looked at Dave with puppy dog eyes. "Please, Dave? For me? Just try it once. I really want to see you happy. And I know several friends who've found great matches at this website."

"He's chicken." Nathan flapped his elbows. "Bawk, bawk, bawk."

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, I never thought of that." Sunni tilted her head. "Dave, I bet there are tons of women who would love to go out with you. You're a great guy."

"I know I am. I'm not afraid. I'm just not interested."

Kyle had been noticeably silent, chewing on his burger. When Sunni gave him a squinty, pirate eye, he swallowed and spoke up.

"Oh yeah, Dave. You should try it. If you don't, there's always my cousin Eloise."

Dave remembered Kyle's cousin Eloise from a picture of his family reunion. She could probably bench press Dave.

They all looked eagerly at him. If he ever wanted to eat again in peace, he would have to give them a positive response. He chose to string them along for a bit without committing to anything.

"Maybe."

Nathan shot a finger gun at him. "The sooner the better."

Sunni clapped her hands. "That's as good as a yes. I won't stop bugging you until you go on your first date!"

# # # # #

Sunni held to her promise. She continuously badgered Dave to try her proven, data-driven online dating website: Nerds Unite. He groaned just hearing the name. When that didn't work, she had them all over for dinner and got him drunk.

Dave, not really that drunk, finally relented and opened a free trial account. With help from his friends, he filled out the information: likes, dislikes, allergies, preferences, etc. That part had actually been fun.

He hoped he could leave it at that and let the free trial lapse into infamy.

But a week later, Sunni was at it again, spoiling his favorite lunch, pasta primavera.

"Any prospects from the website?"

Dave cringed as he was about to take a bite. "I forgot to publish my profile."

Nathan shook his head at him. "I'm disappointed in you, Dave."

Sunni frowned. "I don't know what's wrong with you. We just want you to be happy like us."

"I am happy. A happy uncomplicated bachelor."

With a pout, she stood up. "I give up. I'm done bugging you. If you don't want to try it, don't. I have a wedding to plan. Come on, Kyle."

Kyle shrugged at the guys and followed his fiancée.

Dave couldn't figure out why Sunni was so upset. And he sure wasn't ready to be tugged on a leash like Kyle.

Nathan saluted and left him alone at the table.

Were they trying to teach him a lesson? Dave tilted his head as he watched them walk away. They acted like he'd betrayed them. What was wrong with being single?

3 comments:

Tyrean Martinson said...

I feel for Dave. Even though I'm happily married, he is so funny and so content that I get his point.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tara - I too feel like Tyrean ... leave the poor lad be. However Dave sounds like a strong character and should be able to hold his friends off ... and with luck will in due time become 'uncle Dave' and be much loved ... but I suspect the story has other thoughts! Take care - Hilary

Patricia Josephine aka Patricia Lynne said...

This reminds me of back in high school when some friends hooked me up with a guy. It makes me want to punch Sunni. Just let a person be happy if they are single.

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