The Hatfields VS the McCoys: 2993
Akin Hatfield took aim at the green image. With his high-falootin, sci-fi goggles set on heat seekin, that animal didn’t stand a chance.
Snap! What the ? Some idiot stepped on a twig!
And there went the enemy, scamperin off to make his scout report. Akin’s moron ammo tech would scare off fish in a barrel.
Zap! The figure disintegrated. Hot damn!
“Fine shootin, Bo. Saved us a chase,” Akin said in his com link. “As for Piss, here, I might hafta shoot his loud a** myself.”
“Sorry, boss.” Laughter echoed in their headsets. Piss earned his name for pissin his pants when they caught him lyin. Helluvan ammo tech, makin bombs outta all kinds of s#%@, even s#%@! But his usefulness might be comin to an end.
After an early lead takin the first flag in the Tobacc Mountain region in only five days, Akin had gained himself a huge followin. Though it had cost him three men, scores had volunteered to join his campaign team. He took only ten to keep his convoy small enough to hide from that skunk, Rosco McCoy.
One of Akin’s scouts had informed that as soon as McCoy found out they had won the first region, he paid off the village idiot leader to give him his flag and now his team was close on Akin’s heels.
Accordin to the Election War map, Akin's next flag was here in Peachnut Plains. The clue said “rust in peace,” so they figured it’d be in a cemetery. The marker sat on Stone Mountain, the only remainin landmark and split in half at that. Two years ago The Battle of the South ended in victory, but if those aliens came back any time soon, humans’d be toast. The South may be a Wilderness Zone, but no one was gonna take it from em once Akin Hatfield was in charge.
Akin’s campaign team spread across the Stone Mountain cemetery to cover more ground. Even before the Invasion, most graveyards were grown over with grass and weeds and trees, nobody buried the dead anymore, just cremations. The men crept through the tall grass barely seein the headstones which were no more than rocks to trip over, and some bones and skulls that had risen to the surface with the ground shiftin and tree roots growin and such. It was like wadin through a deathswamp.
Ahead, through the trees, Akin could just make out the two horse heads carved into the half of Stone Mountain that still stood, with his goggles now on infrared. Before he turned back to focus on the brush in front of him, he heard a commotion. At the base of the mountain he saw bursts of lasergun fire and flares. McCoy’s team must have found their flag. D*&% that McCoy!
“Party’s over, boys. Getta move on that flag!”
They picked up the pace and Akin saw somethin swish by up ahead near the remains of a broken iron fence. It had been fuzzy, not solid. He figured it was just a cloud of bugs.
A thud made him turn. Piss was down. Akin and Bo rushed over. Bo shook the ammo tech, but Piss’s eyes were wide and glazed, starin up at the moon. His face froze from fright.
Akin smacked him. Still nothin. He weren’t dead but they couldn’t afford to drag him along so they shrugged and went on.
Then the screamin started. Three more men fell with no sign of damage. Just that same stupid spooked look on their surprised faces.
“Evrybody gather here to me pronto!” Akin ordered.
“We lost Ells, too,” Charley told him as they huddled around their leader.
“This ain’t McCoy’s doin. I ain’t sayin what I think it is, but take what you can from the fallen and keep your goggles on. We are stickin together til we get outta here.”
When they reorganized, they headed for the iron fencin.
“I see it,” whispered Bo.
“The flag?” Akin asked. “Where?”
“By that thing over there,” he said and pointed with a shaky finger. He sounded like he was gonna cry. Akin saw the flag and the hazy, floatin thing, which was not a cloud of bugs.
“Pull it together, boy!” Akin said and swatted him in the head. “Use the retriever.”
Charley took the large cannon like device off his shoulder and aimed at the flag. Once they figured it out, it had been a valuable asset, a gift left by the retreatin aliens. He steadied and fired.
The spook turned around and flew right at them. The face became a hideous fury, half skin, half teeth and half drippy goo. Just before it reached them, the boomerangin retriever lasernet exploded through it with the flag, scatterin the poor apparition’s goo all over them.
Two more men had gone down at the shockin sight of it, but Akin’s team had the flag. Only one more to go and the Hatfields would win the Governorship of the Wilderness Zone. Yeehaw!